Inadequate

Lately I've been thinking about being inadequate vs. being empowered.

There are many days I feel inadequate.  I feel as if I'm not good enough, talented enough, strong enough and that there are millions of people out there who can do a better job (life @ home and @ work) than me.  I believe feelings of inadequacy are usually fueled by the fires of comparison.  It is so easy to feel like your lacking when you're stuck on coveting or comparing what someone else has or is.  My mentor in college J.Scott Duvall once said, "When I listen to the tempting voices of comparison, I know I've lost focus on the Father.  Renewed focus causes comparison to fade."  It's true...when I stop to realize God's power, grace, mercy, and love that he so generously lavishes upon me, my need to be like someone else slips away.

Inadequacies are also fueled by sin.  Sin causes me to forget God's provision over me, and even more, it roots guilt which can breed spiritual paralysis.  Looking at sin, owning it, dealing with it, and leaving it behind are the keys to developing and understanding redemption and forgiveness.

But when it comes to my relationship with God, I also feel inadequate, unworthy, even shameful in His presence.  I am in complete need of Him.  So, yes, I am inadequate.  My relationship with Jesus shows me how much I need Him and little I bring to the table.  I believe His desire is that we become dependent on Him because of our inabilities.  Jesus desires from me a sense of utter abandon from self so that I can become completely dependent on Him.  Humility, servant minded, and a missional mindset help me to develop a sense of dependence. 

It's funny, only when I'm at this state of losing self and gaining a greater perspective on the Father do I truly sense empowerment.  Jesus is provider, sustainer, author and perfector.  His mighty, Holy, awesome, and overwhelmingly in control.  Jesus empowers me through His relationship with me, the steadiness of His Word, and the whispers of His Spirit.  I am empowered not because I've gained an ability, risen to a status of influence, or finally become the person I've admired; I'm empowered because I'm His and I'm allowing Him control over me.

Inadequate?  Yep, in the presence of a might God.  Inadequate?  Nope, not among me for my God is empowering me, not for the purpose of comparison or to puff me up, but to glorify His name.